RUGGED-Y2K POLITICS
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SCANDAL
INSIDE!
ISSUE #1997
PRICE: 50p
THE EURO SONG CONTEST NIL POINTS SCANDAL
"
Before Twitter, we had Teletext Page 301. We reveal the men behind the pixels who controlled the nation's news.
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THE SPIN DOCTOR
CAUGHT IN A SCANDAL? GENERATE AN EXCUSE:
"It's just a little bit of a photo opportunity with the backbenches."
SPIN AGAIN
SNAP
COPY
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THE MANIFESTO
Privatise the weather.
NEW POLICY
COPY
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CABINET RESHUFFLE
ROLE:
Lord of the Dance
CANDIDATE:
The Beach DJ
SHUFFLE THE PACK
SNAP RESULT
COPY
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WHITE ELEPHANT CALC
PROJECT:
The Fast Train Link
COST:
£5.8 Billion
RESULT:
Getting to France faster.
COPY
SNAP
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THE SUNDAY RAG
FOOTBALLER EATS UFO
EXCLUSIVE!
COPY
SNAP
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CEEFAX P302
> ROYAL: Dog bites ankle. Ankle apologises.
UPDATE
COPY
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BACKBENCH DIARY
"Dear Diary, I tried to ban Mondays. The Speaker ruled it out of order."
NEXT ENTRY
SNAP
COPY
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THE SPEAKER
ORDER! ORDER!
SHOUT
COPY
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THE RUMOUR MILL
The minimum wage was introduced at the price of a burger.
NEW RUMOUR
COPY
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THE VOTERS
"He's a lizard person, I read it on the internet."
- Dave, 42, Basildon
ASK DAVE
SNAP
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EXPENSES CLAIM
CHEZ SNOB
WESTMINSTER
Swan Pate
£85.00
Gold Leaf Salad
£30.00
Fancy Water
£25.00
Mint Imperials
£5.00
TOTAL:
£145.00
(TAXPAYER PAYS)
SNAP
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